The Pragmatic Revolution: How We Can Overcome Chronic Pain
If you are living in a pit of despair with chronic pain, there is a way out. There is a way to reverse the chronic pain cycle. We can find a way to nurture optimism and live our lives, free from the suzerainty of our pain issues. It takes a revolution to do it — an inner revolution.
Let’s paint a picture first… When living with chronic pain, our bodily feelings can poison our mind with negative thoughts, and vice versa. We are confronted with physical changes like de-conditioning, mental changes like depression and anxiety, and social changes like alienation and isolation. It turns into a downward spiral where we simply feel helpless. We feel like a victim of biology, of society, of life. The spiral continues downward. We are in the grips of the chronic pain cycle’s cyclone.
What is our mindset like during this downward spiral? Often grim and cynical. We withdraw from most of our social circles. We stop any exercise and sink into our couch for longer and longer. We ruminate on all the things going poorly and how great things used to be. And we may even find social circles online that not only validate our feelings, but perhaps enshrine personal identity as a perennial victim and society as fundamentally unjust. (To clarify: it’s great to have our feelings validated and to find camaraderie. But validating an identity of victimhood can lead to problems.)
Perhaps we start to feel exhausted with this downward spiral, and wonder how we can escape it. Perhaps we wonder if we will always be in pain, always be isolated, always be sad, and go back to bingeing The Office while ignoring calls and texts. Perhaps we wake up the next day frustrated and think, “There has to be another way.”
As the old engineer’s saying goes, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
At some point we have to assess whether our patterns are actually serving us well — taking an honest assessment of our state of well-being and our own self-talk. Observe how this self-talk creates our reality. We can unwind our self-talk, our ruminations, our ideation in writing; and look at them, assessing them and appraising their value, effects and benefits. Examine this inner dialogue to see if it’s boosting you or limiting you. Auditing our self-talk can be very illuminating and useful. Look at your self-talk with a mind of self-compassion.
This can change. We can choose to adapt, grow and evolve. You are not powerless. You can have an impact on your pain levels, your mood, your patterns. Let’s repeat together: “I am not powerless. I’m gonna get through this. I can find a way onward.
It’s time for a revolution. When we see how self-defeating a victim mentality can be, we should renounce “I can’t” and resolve to pursue what we can actually do here and now — what is practical and actionable. We can still see there are paths forward with potential merits, possible methods of improving our state of body, mind, spirit as well as our home, environment, our family / squad / pod. The question is what is useful and what is feasible. This is the Pragmatic Revolution; we change our way of thinking about ourselves and our abilities, chucking out the overlords of Learned Helplessness and developing a new attitude of curiosity, engagement and empowerment, where we can start to choose our own path forward again.
By turning from a mindset of lamentation to one of pragmatism, we are seeking out practical ways to improve our situation within our current ability. For me, it started with spending time in a daily Zen meditation practice along with journaling and expressive writing exercises. That may be helpful for you, or you may find your own first steps — sound baths, short walks in nature, gardening, time with loved ones, doing art — it may take some experimentation. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Maintain that will to grow and feed it curiosity, experimentation, even playfulness. Be careful not to overdo it though — be gentle and pace yourself. Find that Middle Way between idle apathy and overeager effort.
Psychologist Dan McAdams has written fascinating studies on identity narratives, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we do, and what’s important to us. In the pit of despair, we are subject to a ‘contamination narrative’ or a story about what’s gone wrong, what’s been lost, how we have failed, etc. We are consciously shifting to a ‘redemption narrative’ — a story of how we are rising above adversity, rising to the challenge of living a good life with chronic pain.
This last part is important — when we plumb the inner workings of our mind, we may need to work with a mental health professional to properly unpack, resolve and proceed with improving our thought processes and patterns.
I wish you luck in your pursuit of pragmatic engagement, of mindful growth, and evolving into a person who lives well with chronic pain. Beware sabotaging self-talk and repetitive rumination. Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, and grant yourself assurances. Though we may be accompanied by chronic pain, it need not be the deciding factor in our quality of life. We can explore our potential and find practical ways forward with an even attitude of optimistic pragmatism.
Geoffrey teaches EvolVR’s Meditation for Chronic Pain in altspaceVR. These sessions are 100% free, held every Saturday at 12pm Pacific, 3pm Eastern Time. AltspaceVR is available to download for free on desktop PC and VR platforms.
